why ?

WHY ?

mera crush tha. yah is saal hua. main middle school mein 6 veen kaksha-urph pratham varsh mein hoon. usaka naam pankaj. mainne use kumar kaha kyonki usaka middle naam tha. ham ek hee kaksha mein hain.

mainne ladakon se maarapeet kee. vah sabase aam tha. mainne unamen se jyaadaatar ko peeta kyonki main unase jyaada majaboot tha.

ek din kisee kaaran se mujhe usake lie fealing hone lageen. mujhe pata nahin kyon. mere dost mera majaak udaate. kisee ne bhee use pasand nahin kiya kyonki usakee aankhon ke neeche baig the. lekin yah sab badal gaya jab use chashma mila. vah bahut cuty lag raha tha. ya mere doston ne unhen e dad kaha.

ek din school ke baad har koee apanee bus ka intajaar kar raha tha. mere dost is baare mein baat karane lage ki main use kaise pasand karata hoon. vah unaka bhee tha. mainne unase kaha ki mainne nahin kiya. unhonne socha ki mainne kiya. unhonne mere baare mein haee school mein baat kee. phir sabase buree baat hotee hai. usane mujhe seedhe mere chehare par kaha ki vah mujhe pasand nahin karata. main alag ho gaya.

main baatharoom mein bhaagana chaahata tha aur apane dil ko rona chaahata tha, lekin mainne aisa nahin kiya. ham ek hee bus kee travell karate hain. agale kuchh hafte mainne usase baat nahin kee. mujhe mara hua laga.

ek din hamaare teacher anna ko hamaaree kaksha se baahar nikaalane kee koshish kar rahe the. vah hamesha baat karatee thee. kevin ne use pasand kiya. usane mujhe bataaya.

isase sabase jyaada chot lagee. usane khud ko us par baat karane ka doshee thaharaaya. vah apane edeeechadee se sharminda thee. aisa kaun karega.

aaj bhee ham 6 veen kaksha mein hain. vah mujhe fagget fat, phoohad aur ek aadamee jaise bure naam se bulaate hain.

lekin mera ek savaal hai. kyon? main ab bhee use kyon pasand karata hoon? anna ne us par aarop lagaaya? ab bhee vah use kaise pasand karatee hai?

main khud se usake lie khade hone ka vaada karata hoon. mujhe pata nahin kyon. mujhe kabhee pata nahin chalega. kya vah kabhee mujhase pyaar karega? shaayad nahi. kyonki main mota hoon. koee bhee ladaka us dard ko nahin samajhega jo usane mujhe diya tha.

main kabhee shadi nahin karana chaahatee thee ya jab main badee ho gaee to mere bachche the. ve mera carrier barbaad kar dete.

 

mere bhai ne mujhe boyfriend nahin milane ke baare mein bataaya. main dekhata hoon kyon. main udaas rahane laga. main udaas sangeet sunane laga. isane mujhe rula diya. mera pet dukhata hoga. yah bhee band nahin hoga. aaj main behatar hoon aur abhee bhee usakee tarah hoon. lekin vah mujhe pasand nahin karata. kyon? kyon nahin? mera sachcha pyaar kahaan hai? kya mere paas ek hoga? pyar